An artist's impression of "geeky computer game fans" cruising the nation's waterways for a bit of rough

You can always trust the Daily Star to deliver the news that counts.

The quality tabloid is today of the opinion that the night vision goggles that will come bundled with Modern Warfare 2’s Prestige Edition will create an “army of ogling pervs”, who will use the sight-enhancing gadget to enhance all kinds of traditional English pastimes such as “gay cruising” or “stealth dogging”.

The Star goes some way to qualify this statement by pointing out that HMV’s entire stock of the goggle-equipped game pack has already been pre-ordered. We should all be thoroughly ashamed of ourselves.